Sucker Punch or: Why I hate Zack Snyder.

I knew within the first 2 minutes of this movie starting that I would hate it, but I watched the whole thing anyway.*

Sucker Punch is directed by Zack Snyder and is populated with Utterly Forgettable Hot Girls, That Chick from High School Musical, Scott Glenn and Don Draper.

Zack Snyder, if you are not familiar with him is best known for bringing two classic comics to the big screen. The not terribly complex 300 and the actually rather complex Watchmen. Both are pulpy and visually arresting, however both also suffer from being made by Zack Snyder.
I'm not reviewing either of these movies but they both have the same symptoms of Snyderitis that make Sucker Punch a roiling wave of shite.

Here are things that Zack Snyder puts in his movies that I hate.

1. Slow motion in fight scenes.

2. Tarantino-esque placing of his favourite songs over particular scenes, usually the dramatic ones. (I don't hate when Tarantino does this, atleast his musical taste is reasonably obscure)

Neither of these things should ruin a movie on their own, both have been used to tremendous effect by other directors over the years. Zack Snyder uses both of these things, in all his movies - constantly. Every fight scene has slow motion. Every wide shot, sweeping shot or scene that should have some kind of emotional integrity to it has a well known or popular song overlaid. I point you straight at the funeral scene in Watchmen here.

"Oh funerals are sad what song will I use... The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel! Could I possibly choose a more obvious choice?" Zack Snyder never answered his own question as he was too overwhelmed by his own inanity. This is lazy film making.

Sucker Punch opens with what feels like 20 hours of slow motion footage of a hot girl with pigtails getting involved in the events that lead to her being imprisoned in hot girl asylum. The opening slow motion scene also has no sound, just a song playing over it. I can't remember which song this is (And I refuse to look it up).

An evil man, her step father has her sent to the asylum where she soon plots her escape with a five day time limit. In five days Don Drapers coming to lobotomise our heroine. The storyline finishes here and we are subjected to approximately 90 minutes of cartoonish, slow motion action sequences and the occasional piece of plodding exposition. Scott Glenn pops up in spirit guide mode in the guise of various soldiery types from different eras. Glenn is reliably grizzled, this being his 9 billionth time playing a soldiery type.

John Hamm is perfectly functional as the surgeon charged with lobotomising Babydoll (I failed to mention earlier that none of the girls have real names just nicknames.) Having roughly five minutes of screentime and less than an A4 page of dialogue worked out well for him.

The girls are all that is demanded of them. Sassy, vulnerable and capable by turns. It is difficult to fault them, as all of the failings of this movie can be pinned on one man.

The faults of Sucker Punch are numerous however one thing over shadows the whole film. Wasted potential, this movie wants to be so much more than what it is. Mostly it wanted to be an 18 rated film. It badly wants to be pulpy and exploitative and empowering in the vein of Kill Bill but it simply can't be. It was made to be accessible to the only demographic who will take the content in anyway seriously, 13 year old boys. The film has pretty girls alright, but they are the least sexually charged cast of hot girls I have ever seen. The film has fights alright, but they are the least violent battles I've seen in a a high budget blockbuster in years.

Zack Snyder has vision. He wanted to make his very own mind fuck action film so beloved of Japanese animation but the whole thing was castrated before it was even begun.

So that one man that the films failings can be pinned on, is it Mr. Snyder or is it some faceless film executive? I'm inclined to feel it was the latter at this stage. Zack Snyder has always taunted me with the kind of movie I want to revel in. The closest he has come to that at this stage is 300. If someone could edit out all of the slow motion I'm sure the running time would fall to around 45 minutes but it would be a better film for it. The problem with Sucker Punch and its contemporary action films is really what is wrong with Hollywood and western cinema in general, a movie will not get greenlit unless it is sure to bring in a minimum of profit, leading to only sequels and mindless childrens films being made. Hollywood does not produce media for an adult audience, it hasn't done so for a long time.

In conclusion, I really didn't like Sucker Punch. I found it toothless and boring. Brimming with minor cinematographic annoyances. Dreadful.


*Bonus Opening line: The title of this movie is also what I'd like to do to the films director.


P.S Reading back over this I realise I'm incredibly wandering here and I haven't really covered everything that really bothers me in detail. Anyway first attempt at writing in a long time so I'm sure I'll warm up (I hope >.<)